When I launched my tech startup, my wife was a full time registered nurse, working at a local hospital, carrying our family benefits and bringing in a steady income stream. However, she was 6 months pregnant with our son, and we knew her time working would be short as we’d both dreamed of her being a stay-at-home-mom. Ultimately, we chose to hire her as a part-time employee for my company, making me her boss…a fun fact I tease her with but she dispels with a single look, humbling me instantly and reminding me we’re an absolute team. Running a business with your spouse can be both rewarding and challenging. Having my favorite coworker by my side, knowing she’s not going anywhere despite the ups and downs is inspiring. But, we’ve learned the hard way that you have to draw the line somewhere or the household becomes all work and no play. In this blog post, I'll share four of the biggest realizations I’ve had as a CEO & husband that have helped us keep a happy marriage alongside a growing company.
1. I Respect Her Expertise
My wife has many skills, but she'll be the first to say that technology is absolutely not one of them…she is correct, somehow tech escapes her. She is a well educated Registered Nurse with a background in professional athletics. I’ve learned to recognize the skills she does have (organization, drive, motivation and blunt honesty? That’s her. And it’s been a gift) and use those skills for both of our benefits. I never expect her to perform tasks outside her knowledge base. I have built a wonderfully talented team of employees from the ground up, they are technologically savvy, great with my clients and exceptionally driven. They handle technical builds I don’t have time for while my wife handles non-technical business duties I don’t have time for. By respecting her expertise and assigning roles that align with her skills, we ensure she contributes meaningfully without feeling overwhelmed by unfamiliar work. The growth this has allowed me to achieve has been monumental.
2. Establish Clear Boundaries
We have clearly defined working hours, within reason. She doesn’t expect me to stick to a strict 9-5 schedule. Partially to thank for this is the fact that she does work for me so she is privy to the number of demands I am captive to in a week. Although she is flexible to my hours, we still decide at a certain point that the day is done. At the end of each workday, I shut the door to my office, signaling the end of the workday and the beginning of family time. This separation helps us maintain a healthy work-life balance and allows us to focus on our marriage and family during off-hours. We don’t discuss daily company tasks during these hours, but like any couple, we do vent frustrations. This balance helps us feel like a regular couple with jobs outside the house and provides a much needed separation between work and home.
3. Flexible Work Expectations
I don't expect my wife to work a full 40-hour week. She works part-time, balancing her role at Four Score Solutions with her primary role as a stay-at-home mom raising our son and preparing for the arrival of our daughter. She never meets with clients or attends internal meetings, so she is able to complete tasks whenever our son is napping or miraculously entertaining himself. She often completes tasks outside the house such as shipping and purchasing, which she can do with our son in tow. This flexibility ensures she can fulfill her responsibilities without undue stress or frustration. If I expected a full 40 hours of work from her, I would be chronically disappointed while she would be overwhelmed and frustrated. Recognizing that she can complete tasks efficiently and accurately but on her own schedule has been pivotal to the success of our working relationship.
4. Schedule Regular Check-Ins
Regular check-ins are crucial for maintaining a healthy working relationship. We discuss both business-related items and personal matters to ensure we're on the same page and address any issues promptly. We save the business issues for working hours. Having her there to check in regarding the business helps hold me accountable to agreements I’ve made. She reminds me of the small promises I’ve made in the employee handbook to keep employees happy and reminds me to keep tabs on small things like employee birthdays. She checks in with client satisfaction and helps me show gratitude to our clients while suggesting ways to maintain and improve business relationships. She’s been immensely helpful in this way for the business. On the marriage front, we constantly discuss small issues as any couple does. But, we instituted what she calls our monthly “State of the Union”. At the end of each month, we sit down and review our financial goals, personal goals and discuss any marital issues we may have missed. She never lets me miss one. This practice helps us stay connected and aligned in our goals.
By implementing these strategies, we've managed to work together effectively while enjoying our personal lives. Working with your spouse isn't always easy, and it definitely isn’t a decision that is best for every couple. But we’ve learned to work with respect, clear boundaries, flexible expectations, and regular communication. It has been a fulfilling experience that we both enjoy with great enthusiasm on all fronts.
